Happy Day!

Ah! It's my older brother's birthday!!! Another year collected!

I'm not perfect

So I have come to the realization that I, and my past, are all not candy and flowers. Of course, many people have told me many lies that would make me believe that everything is perfect and great, but those lies could not carry themselves out for the duration of my life. I look at myself, and I see a person who has not fulfilled all my hopes and wishes at this point, and can only blame it on myself. I have been lied to in the past, but I CHOSE to believe those lies. I knew they were lies, and I still accepted them as the truth because it was easier than facing the facts. Now I have to face those things I chose to ignore time and time again, and it is rough, but not for a useless purpose. I'm being a bit cryptic, but, details aren't really important. Details only exist as proof to a point, and above is the point.

It's really interesting to be old enough to see how things unfold on a long-term scale.

The synchronicities are BACK!!!

technology...

wi-fi is really really cool!

Life

It's funny how life seems to get more and more crazy with every passing day. It's funny how we don't think we know the future.

Spit in my face

She LIES!!!!!!!

The worst is over

So this is a crazy chart I read (for myself) this morning. I was wondering if I could use optimism and energy and excitement and a general good mood to my fullest to advance in life, and to spread optimism around, and the chart casted for the time was astounding. 21 April 2008 10:25E.T. (LB, NJ)



Ascendant Cancer shows the querent (myself) in an emotional state (Cancer ruled by the moon), which is correct, since the question does have to do with an emotional nature. Moon is in Scorpio (not good!), but it is NOT "via combusta," it's actually just leaving that turbulent section of the sky (with less than a distance away from that part of the chart), showing a very very very difficult time that has just passed. Even though the moon is in Scorpio which is not the best, it is applying to a trine to Mars, which is coincidentally riding the ascendant in the Moon's sign. Mars on the ascendant and in Cancer (emotions and stuff) giving a mutual reception between Mars and the Moon (with an added bonus, the applying trine aspecting). This trine is adding the energy to the moon (but quite an fiery emotional energy). Mars is a malefic, but it is only helping here from what I can see. I haven't even gotten to the moon's placement by house. It's right on the cusp of the fifth house (house of joys, pleasures, creativity), which shows more specifically what I was wondering, as (to me) the fifth house applies directly to my musical pursuits. With the moon just leaving via combusta AND on the cusp of the fifth house shows that my question is shown in the chart down to specifics (this is a good thing), and it doesn't look too bad.

It's also noted that the moon is part of a grand trine with Uranus and Mars. Uranus is sextile to Jupiter, and Mars is opposite Jupiter....these are all aspects I have by birth. This chart is basically saying "Hey, this is YOU!" It's amazing.

There is a wealth of other information in this chart (Definitely the best and easiest one I've ever casted/read). The fifth house is ruled by Mars, which is on the ascendant, which shows me in a creative and positive state by way of mutual reception and trine (me doing my music stuff, giving and receiving optimism).
The 10th house (career type stuff) is also ruled by Mars in this chart, and with Mars on the ascendant this is all showing that I have the possibility to make creativity and my career the same thing (for me this would be music), and the optimism can be used to not only improve my life and that of others around me in some way, but it can also improve my career and creativity....which in this chart it's all the same thing!
The 11th house (objective goals and friends), which is where I have the Sun, Mercury and Mars conjunct in my natal chart, is ruled by Venus, which is in the 10th house (something else I have natally). This shows a trait noticeable in my natal chart. This means that I will be on the giving and receiving end of help by way of others (particularly friends and associates, co-workers, ect.), which will help my career, creativity, and general life. Of course, this is all in the future (but not so far away, in fact, by looking at this chart, I could possibly see things changing in days or a short number of weeks...ooooo!).
The Sun is also in the 10th house here {I'm not too sure on how to interpret the Sun's placement for this chart, BUT I do know that it is} showing me (Leo) in a high state (approaching Midheaven, the highest point of the sky)...the kind of high state denoting success!

I ended up asking the question at the perfect time, just as I was wondering strongly about the issue (which is the best and only time to ask horary questions), and the Moon just leaving via combusta and the ascendant being less than 3 degrees (24 degrees cancer) from making the the whole chart invalid only further makes all my predictions more accurate.

All in all, this chart gives a clear cut answer to my question: Yes! Yes! Yes! The worst is over, and it is only going to shoot off from here!

...but then again, I'm no expert ;)

I'm starting a symphony.

Score update

So apparently, my score making skills are not complete yet. While it is getting better, the individual notes are still a little difficult to see from a conductor's podium (what a funny looking word, "podium"). My current life mission (along with the other 276927682 life missions) is to resolve this. :)

Sleep vs. Awake

I spend about one-third of every day asleep. For every day of my life. Being 22 (and a half) years old, that's about 7.5 years asleep. I have spent 7.5 years asleep. 7.5 YEARS! ASLEEP! I find that fact fascinating, but what I find even more fascinating is what I've done with all the energy it took 7 and a half years to gain....day by day...

The whole dream

I was riding a bike in an alley at nighttime. I was actually driving before (to Jeremy's) but I had went too far down Eatontown Road, and was in some really shady looking ghetto that does not exist....on Eatontown Road. I was like "time to get the hell outta here," and tried to do a 180, but the car skidded, so I ended up making a left, and going further into this neighborhood. Now I'm on the bike, going down the alley. And dead ahead was a small gang of people walking towards a dumpster. I get up closer to them on my bike, and try to go around the other side of the dumpster, but it was against a building and I could not go around. So I had to pass by these gangsters. I was getting scared, and pretty tense, it looked like they were up to no good (and I have a habit of being accosted by gangs of people in my dream), so I was getting scared. As I pass them on the bike, they somehow whip out a HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE link chain, and whip it around in the air (as a group effort), and HIT ME WITH THE CHAIN! They hit me so hard that I was just shocked. Not feeling any pain was probably where I remembered that I was dreaming. So I'm looking at these guys wondering if they want my money or something...and I say to myself. "Wait. This is MY Dream. No way is it gonna go down like this." And then I somehow took the chain from them, and proceeded to swing this chain around so beautifully and gracefully, that I kicked all of these guys' butts!!! I either had my eyes closed, or was not looking at them, but as I hit them, they were flying back (kinda like a children's cartoon, or Power Rangers or something), and as quickly as I began the attack, it was over. I was very happy. No way they were going to hit me in my dream. Then after that was when I did some super-ninja pose, and from my hands came an orb (I cannot remember the color, but my impression now that I am awake was that it was RED. I moved my hands and arms in a large circle so that the orb was around me. And then, in a HUGE BOOMING VOICE that I am familiar with, I heard (or said) THE ORB IS WITHIN YOU! while posed like some super-ninja. It was a totally cheesy end, but also very empowering, as this was a lucid dream.

End of a Lucid Dream

THE ORB IS WITHIN YOU (ME)

Oh Loiza...

Talked to Paul on the phone for a while today, haven't talked to him in years, so it was really nice. He moved to Puerto Rico all by himself, unfortunately in a town where things are not so safe, so his safety will be in my thoughts (mucho) from here on out. We are both having hard times right now, but [we're both] happy to be alive, and are rolling with the punches. He says he plans on coming back to the U.S. in about two years, maybe I will visit him this summer...

YESSS!!!!

It's the start of a new life!!!! I finally learned how to make a proper, (almost) professional looking score!!! Skip says he's never seen anyone so excited to make a page of music look good, but this is my LIFE! Now I can make music sound AND look good....all I have to do is make it TASTE AND SMELL AND FEEL GOOD!! Then will come the musical orgasm! MURHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! :O I would post a page of the orchestra piece (Silver Lining) I so made look good, but I haven't managed to learn how to save it as a picture yet...I'll get there, so help me.....

Also I am on the way to setting up a music myspace with much music on it...I just have to edit/clip the files, get more in the recording studio at school....Can't wait until that page is made....Then comes my own WEBSITE!! MURHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Constants

I am Durell
I love the moon
I love to read
I love music

Today!

WHAT A GREAT DAY!!

Finally

After 22 years of breathing, I feel like I know what it is to be a composer.

LIFE WORK