Seasons change, time passes by...

Where have I been??

Reading over the past entries I made in my blog was pretty refreshing, it was nice to get in touch with some thoughts and memories from the near past. So I ask myself this grand question: Am I any happier than the last time I posted here (a little over a year ago)? My ultimate goal in life is to be happy, that I know. Have I come any closer to doing and being that happiness?

My answer is no, simply because when I ask myself that question, I do not immediately think "YES! I AM HAPPIER!" so I must not be. However, I am excited for the future. Even though I am taking a year off from school in between graduating with my undergraduate degree and getting into a graduate school, I am bubbling with excitement over the prospect of just being a person with a college degree. Now that I will have a degree (in music), for some reason, I feel like I can accomplish long-ranged goals that I have had for years. Most of these goals have absolutely nothing to do with music.

Did I really need a degree? DO I really need a degree? For me, I would guess yes, because it seems that I did not have the confidence to even think about my goals in aa positive manner until I got closer to finishing this degree program. I can look at this in two ways:

1. I have no confidence to achieve my long-term goals until I can tangibly observe some success in my life.
2. Finishing this degree is only the first in the real implementation of completing my long-term goals, musical or not.

I choose the latter because the former brings up issues of self-confidence and doubt. The second makes me feel good and only excites me about my future.

So now, even though I am almost finishing up with a huge project (college), I am at a crossroads between living a life that has been prepared for me by my family and my society, and beginning to create the life that I really and truly feel is my own. There are major, MAJOR differences between the two, and making life-changes is often scary...or exciting.

I choose excitement.

Happy Day!

Ah! It's my older brother's birthday!!! Another year collected!

I'm not perfect

So I have come to the realization that I, and my past, are all not candy and flowers. Of course, many people have told me many lies that would make me believe that everything is perfect and great, but those lies could not carry themselves out for the duration of my life. I look at myself, and I see a person who has not fulfilled all my hopes and wishes at this point, and can only blame it on myself. I have been lied to in the past, but I CHOSE to believe those lies. I knew they were lies, and I still accepted them as the truth because it was easier than facing the facts. Now I have to face those things I chose to ignore time and time again, and it is rough, but not for a useless purpose. I'm being a bit cryptic, but, details aren't really important. Details only exist as proof to a point, and above is the point.

It's really interesting to be old enough to see how things unfold on a long-term scale.

The synchronicities are BACK!!!

technology...

wi-fi is really really cool!

Life

It's funny how life seems to get more and more crazy with every passing day. It's funny how we don't think we know the future.

Spit in my face

She LIES!!!!!!!