Seasons change, time passes by...

Where have I been??

Reading over the past entries I made in my blog was pretty refreshing, it was nice to get in touch with some thoughts and memories from the near past. So I ask myself this grand question: Am I any happier than the last time I posted here (a little over a year ago)? My ultimate goal in life is to be happy, that I know. Have I come any closer to doing and being that happiness?

My answer is no, simply because when I ask myself that question, I do not immediately think "YES! I AM HAPPIER!" so I must not be. However, I am excited for the future. Even though I am taking a year off from school in between graduating with my undergraduate degree and getting into a graduate school, I am bubbling with excitement over the prospect of just being a person with a college degree. Now that I will have a degree (in music), for some reason, I feel like I can accomplish long-ranged goals that I have had for years. Most of these goals have absolutely nothing to do with music.

Did I really need a degree? DO I really need a degree? For me, I would guess yes, because it seems that I did not have the confidence to even think about my goals in aa positive manner until I got closer to finishing this degree program. I can look at this in two ways:

1. I have no confidence to achieve my long-term goals until I can tangibly observe some success in my life.
2. Finishing this degree is only the first in the real implementation of completing my long-term goals, musical or not.

I choose the latter because the former brings up issues of self-confidence and doubt. The second makes me feel good and only excites me about my future.

So now, even though I am almost finishing up with a huge project (college), I am at a crossroads between living a life that has been prepared for me by my family and my society, and beginning to create the life that I really and truly feel is my own. There are major, MAJOR differences between the two, and making life-changes is often scary...or exciting.

I choose excitement.